niallhortonhearsawho:

a girl walks into a classroom wearing a spaghetti strap shirt. immediately every boy within a 50 yard radius gets a raging erection. the teacher attempts to present a lesson but to no avail, no one can hear over the sound of every male student masturbating to this girl’s shoulders. why couldn’t she just wear a long sleeved shirt

I’m 20 years old and thanks to facebook I still always feel like the girl who wasn’t invited to the slumber party

ask not what your retail store manager can do for you, but what you can do  for your retail store manager

you can go to jail for sixty days or you can hear the Glee verison of Let’s Get Physical once